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Talk:Cherry (American wrestler)/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

GA review (see here for criteria)

This is a nice piece of work, I just picked up a few things.

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    "she was the manager of the group, The Throw-Backs, later called The Untouchables, with Deuce Shade and Dice Domino." - wording suggests that the latter pair were co-managers with her, suggest "with" be changed to something like "consisting of"
    "Drew used the ring name Cherry Pie" - redundant to the end of the previous para, consolidate the two together
    "manager of the tag team The Throw-Backs (Deuce Shade and Domino Dice), her storyline brother," - which one was her storyline brother? Needs clarifying
    "the team went an image change" - "went" should be "underwent", surely?
    " including changing their name to "The Untouchables" and dropping the "Pie" part of her ring name to become known as "Cherry" - this isn't really grammatically correct. I suggest losing "including", adding a full stop after "Untouchables" and then starting a new sentence with something like "Drew also dropped....."
    "In their first match with WWE.....the team underwent a name change" - I presume they didn't literally change their name during the match, so maybe replace "In" with "For"
    " following a distraction from McCool on the April 18 episode of SmackDown" - needs a comma after McCool
    "in a WWE.com exclusive video, she was dumped by Deuce and Domino for Maryse when they " - sentence starts with a small letter.
    Done. Though, I'm having a hard time coming up with something for the storyline brother sentence. Do you have a suggestion you can throw at me? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    How about "the tag team The Throw-Backs, comprising Deuce Shade and Domino Dice, the former/latter (delete as appropriate, I don't know which it is) of whom was her storyline brother" -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:07, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    I've also just noticed that here he is called Domino Dice, whereas in the lead he is called Dice Domino - which is correct? -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:09, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Oops, I missed that. Its "Dice Domino". Also, I think I got it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:13, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Is anything known about her life outside the ring? Family, relationships, business interests, that sort of thing?
    No, unfortunately. I had no luck finding information anything regarding her early life. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Good luck improving the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:28, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks for the review. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Something seems a bit screwy with the bullet points in the "wrestlers managed" section. If you can fix that, I'll pass the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:37, 9 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Fixed, I think. ♥NiciVampireHeart16:21, 9 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Cool, I'm going to pass it now. Well done -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:16, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]